You're Not Sorry
by xfilegrl
Summary: Mulder F's up :-/ and Scully makes a painful decision.
1. Chapter 1

**You're Not Sorry**

**Summary: Mulder F's up :-/ and Scully makes a painful decision.**

**Disclaimer: Not mine…shit.**

**a/n: I am in a Mulder-hating mood…that and I love this song by Taylor Swift…you should download it…she's awesome. This is set sometime during season 6, think of it after **_**One Son**_**, but of course before **_**Biogenesis**_**…it goes a little A/U kk??**

**Chapter 1**

"Scully, I'm sorry." Mulder says to her as he reaches his hand out for her to take. She stares at him, wondering how he can even say that to her. She knows that looking at him is just going to make walking away so much harder. She turns to leave and head back to her apartment, wishing that none of this ever happened. "I love you, Scully." She hears him plead as she pushes the button to the elevator. The door opens and she walks inside, she pushes the button for the first floor and right before the doors close again, she looks up, she sees the tears in his eyes. If she stayed, he would have just talked her out of being mad or upset, he's not sorry. He knows that saying sorry to her will bring her back in and sometimes, she just wants to be mad.

Finally, when she steps out on the first floor, she lets the tears fall. Ditched, again. That's the only way for her to describe it. She thought things would be different, especially once they crossed that line from friends to lovers. He _promised_ her things would be different. Apparently, his promises mean nothing.

She reaches her car, all she wants to do is just drive home, take a bath and forget that any of this happened.

Finally, in the security of her own home, she crosses into the living room, she's on a mission, wine, candles, bath, tea, bed. She shrugs off her coat, throwing it onto the couch, not even bothering hanging it up. She sees the light on her answering machine blinking. She knows it's him, who else would call her. Pausing for a second, her hand hovers above the play button, she decides against it, turning on her heel and heading straight for her bathroom.

She starts the water…it's hot, just the way she likes it, as she pours in the bubbles her phone begins to ring again. Of course, it's him, again. Calling to apologize, again. She doesn't answer. She crosses into her kitchen, grabs a glass, and a wine bottle from the fridge, right as the machine picks up.

"Hey Scully, it's me. Listen, I keep calling, if you're there, please pick up." He pauses waiting to see if she is going to answer. "Please, I know you're mad, but I need to explain what happened. You don't understand. Scully, please, pick up the phone." He's begging with her, pleading for her to just hear him out. "Okay, I'm sorry, Scully. Really I am. I understand if you are mad. I just want to talk to you, please, call me back."

He sounds so desperate on her answering machine, during his message, she wants to run to the phone, pick it up and tell him everything will be fine, they will work this out. But, she also just wants to be mad. At least for tonight. Tomorrow, they will talk and everything will be okay. She heads back to the bathroom, lights her candles, removes her clothing and slips into the heated bliss of her tub.

Tomorrow, she will fix things with him. Tonight, she just wants to be mad.

Mulder sits on his sofa, alone. He puts his cell phone on the coffee table and sighs. Yes, he ditched her, again. After he promised her things would be different and he wouldn't ditch her anymore. She must think his promises mean nothing to him. "But they do, Scully" he silently pleads with no one, but himself. To be honest, he doesn't even know why he did it. Mostly, it was because of Diana, if he would have told Scully he was going to go gallivanting around with Diana, she would have been furious with him…why he doesn't just stay away from that God awful woman, he doesn't know.

Ever since Diana Fowley walked back into his life, she has caused nothing but problems for him…for him and Scully. They finally were able to cross that line, the line they had been walking like a tight rope for 6 years, he finally told her she was his world, she finally told him she loved him. Everything was going so well. Then _she_ came back, and now everything is upside down.

Sitting there in his dimly lit apartment, he gets up from his couch and paces back and fourth. He ditched her, and it wasn't a small ditch, he left, with no word, for a week. "God, what was I thinking?" You weren't, his brain argues with him. You hurt her, after you promised her that you wouldn't. And, not only did you just leave to go chase some 'theory', you left her, and you left with Diana.

He missed her, he missed her so much while he was away, once he got back, he was going to go straight to her apartment, and apologize, apologize like he never had before. But when he got back, she was already at his apartment, waiting. What made things worse was that Diana was with him. One look at him and then Diana, and she was gone. Out the door, not even listening to anything that he had to say.

He contemplated going over to her apartment now. He wanted to go over there, make things right. But he knew by her not answering her phone or calling him back, she wanted to be left alone. So he decided to wait. He will wait until tomorrow, then, he will fix things with her. Tonight, he will let her be mad.

In the early morning hours, she is woken up by a nauseating feeling in her stomach. At first, she thinks it's because the last couple of weeks, she has been used to having a warm body in bed next to her, but after a couple of seconds, the realization dawns on her that she is going to be sick. She throws the covers off and runs into her bathroom.

_Maybe it was the wine and tea, _she thinks to herself as she wipes her mouth with a cold cloth. She pauses for a second and looks into the mirror, her face is paler and a little thinner than usual. Its then that she realizes she doesn't remember the last time she ate. She leaves the confines of her bathroom and pads her way into the kitchen, she looks at the clock on the wall, a little after 4. She really shouldn't be eating this late, so she decides on something light. Her stomach is still doing flip-flops as she warms up some soup.

20 minutes later, she is back in bed. She pulls the covers up to her neck and reaches out to the empty space next to her. She misses him, she doesn't want to admit it, because she still wants to be mad at him, but she misses him. Her last thoughts before she drifts back off to sleep are of him.

She's late, an hour and a half to be exact. He probably has already called her apartment and she will be surprised if she finds him in the office and not out looking for her. She didn't get much sleep last night, after finally falling back asleep, she woke up again 30 minutes later, nauseous, throwing up the soup she ate. She couldn't go back to sleep, and the rest of the morning was spent the same way, her in her bathroom, throwing up anything that was left in her stomach. As she reaches the basement, she notices that the office door is closed, when she gets closer, she can hear voices coming from inside, not only Mulder's, but a woman's voice as well.

"Fox, you can't be serious! He did not say that to you."

"Diana, I am telling you, I know what I heard and that is exactly what I heard." He laughs.

Scully is then furious, no outraged that he would have the audacity to actually talk to Diana after what had happened last night, not only talk to her, but laugh as well. She quietly pushes the door open slightly and she sees Diana sitting on Mulder's desk, leaning towards him.

"Trust me, I know that man, and there is no way he would say something like that."

"Diana, I trust you, but like I said, I know what I heard."

_He trusts her? Did I just hear him right? _She's disappointed, his words are like a dagger going straight into her heart. She thought she was the only one that he trusts. She stands there for a couple more seconds, trying to figure out what to do. She finally pushes the door open the rest of the way and it bangs against the door. At the sound of it, Diana jumps off of Mulder's desk.

"Agent Scully, you scared me."

Scully doesn't reply, she just gives her a terse smile and walks over to her desk. She pulls a small box from underneath it and starts putting things inside of it. Mulder just stares at her, trying to figure out what she's doing. He knows that her walking in to see him talking to Diana is bad, as soon as Diana walked into the office he tried to get her to leave, and before he knew it, they were in some conversation about something that wasn't even relatively important to him.

"Umm, Diana," he says as he grabs her by the elbow and walks her to the door. "I think that you should go ahead and leave, Scully and I have some things that we need to talk about."

He doesn't give her time to respond as he pushes her out the door and closes it. He turns to face Scully, who is still putting things inside the box on her desk. "Scully, what are you doing?"

"Mulder, listen, we have nothing to talk about, okay? I get it, I always have and it was foolish of me to think that you were actually going to change your ways and keep your promise to me." She crosses the room and heads to the door.

"Scully, wait, let me explain. Its not what you think,"

"Mulder, please, I've given you chance, after chance. Every time, it ends the same. And you can sit here and apologize, but I know that you're not sorry. You do what you do because you think that it is right, and I get that, I do." She steps towards him and caresses his cheek. "Its one of the reasons I fell in love with you. But, I can't do this anymore, it hurts too much and I don't want to hurt anymore Mulder. I'm sorry."

"Scully," he says as he places his hand on top of hers, "please, don't do this."

"I don't know what else to do, Mulder and I don't want to hurt anymore. I'm going to ask Skinner for a transfer, please, don't try and call me, I won't answer the phone."

She turns from him and reaches for the door, opening it she hears him call her name, she doesn't turn around.

"I love you."

"I know you do, Mulder." And with that, she walks out of the office and closes the door behind her.

**a/n II: I have some major twists for this one…so don't go anywhere!! Oh! And please review!!**

**I give out internet chocolate if you review :-)**

**K 3**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I don't own them…I know, it sucks right?**

**a/n: I am soooooooooo sorry!!! I know, this has taken forever to update! I have so many ideas for it…I've just been too busy!! Trying to get my career started and all…being an actress is hard, you know? So, this kinda has spoilers for Biogenesis in it.**

**I dedicate this to Julia because she has the stomach flu :/**

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**Chapter 2**

Mulder paces his office, back and forth, he thinks that he has paced so much he is starting to leave tracks in the carpet. _So stupid! _He silently thinks to himself. Not only has he ruined the best relationship he has ever had, but he has also ruined the best partnership he has ever had. _God, how can I be so dumb!_

It had been two days since she had walked out of his life. She wasn't answering his calls and the time that he did go over to her apartment and let himself in, she wasn't there. He even tried her mothers, but it was no use. She didn't want to talk to him.

The knock at the door brings him out of his thoughts. He looks up to see Skinner standing in front of him, a manila folder in his hands.

"Sir." He says in way of greeting.

"Agent Mulder, would you care to explain to me why Agent Scully has asked for a transfer back to Quantico?"

Mulder had been waiting for this, for Skinner to come to him and expect a reason for Scully's actions.

"The truth sir?"

"Yes, the truth Agent Mulder."

"Honestly, I made a huge mistake. First, I ditched her, not only that, I ditched her with Agent Fowley, then the next day, she walks into the office to see Agent Fowley sitting on my desk, laughing with me."

Skinner sighs and bows his head for a second, he then looks back up to Mulder and says "You fucked up Mulder. Not only did you hurt her, but you hurt her in the worst possible way. You know how she feels about Agent Fowley."

"I know sir, and now she won't talk to me. When was the last time you talked to her?"

"I called her this morning, to see what the reason was for her transfer request. She was out of it when she answered, said something about being up half of the night throwing up."

"Did she say what was wrong with her?"

"No, she sounded like she was to tired to talk, so I told her that I would just find out the reason for you. Listen, I'm going to grant her request for a transfer Mulder."

His jaw dropped, if anything, he thought that Skinner would deny her request, that way they could fix things. "But sir,"

"No, Agent Mulder, I'm not bailing you out of this one. Agent Scully has been through a lot, but for her to request a transfer, well, that says something about what has finally pushed her over the edge."

Mulder just stood there, staring as Skinner turned and walked out of the door. He had to fix this. Some how, he had to make things right again.

********************

she slowly gets out of bed, feeling hot and cold all at the same time. She was coughing again, that's what woke her up. As she gets up she looks back at her pillow and notices the red spots. This is the third time within the past day that she has had a nose bleed. She has doctor appointment scheduled for the next day. She probably could have gotten in sooner, but she doesn't want to face the truth that her cancer has probably came back.

It's not like the last time, she has symptoms of the flu as well. Not just the kind where you have a stuffy nose and cough, nope, full on throwing up, body aching, runny nose, sore throat, flu. If there was one thing that Dana Scully hated, it was being sick. _Yes, doctors do make the worst patients _she thought to herself as she soaked in her hot bath. She had taken a week in vacation leave and she was on day two and it didn't feel like she was getting any better.

Nothing seemed to get rid of the constant chills that were running through her body, she wore layers of clothes and even add 3 extra blankets. The only thing she could think of that would help would be a hot bath, even though it was only a temporary release, it would work for right now.

She sighs deeply as she hears her phone start to ring. She decided against getting out of her warm cocoon and lets the answering machine pick it up. Her head falls back to the edge of the tub and she closes her eyes. She really hates being sick, but she knows that she should have expected it. She ran around crazy for a week, trying to figure out where Mulder was. Only to find out he was with Diana. Even though she has separated herself from Mulder and The X-Files to benefit herself and what she has left of her life, she can't help but still feel hurt, betrayed.

"Scully?

She nearly jumps out of the bath at the sound of his voice. "Jesus Mulder! What are you doing here?" She turns her head to face him.

"I'm sorry, it's just that you weren't answering your phone, and I knocked on your door. I heard you were sick and when you didn't answer-"

"You got worried." She cut him off. "Look, Mulder, I'm fine, it's just the flu."

"Are you sure? You look really pale, Scully."

She gets out of the tub, and grabs her robe and puts it around her. "Mulder, please, I'm fine, okay? Can you please just leave?"

"I brought you some soup, from your favorite restaurant, I was hoping that we could talk."

"Talk?" She says as she walks towards him and takes the bag out of his hand. "I told you, there is nothing to talk about."

He follows her out into her kitchen. "I can't just let you leave like this, if you want a transfer, that's fine, but I can't stand the thought of never talking to you again."

"You know, Mulder, you should have thought about that before you decided to go out and run around with Diana. You promised me, does that mean nothing to you?"

"Of course it does!" He nearly shouts at her. "It means a lot to me, you mean a lot to me. You know that I wouldn't ditch you if I didn't have an extremely good reason as to why I was doing it."

She turns around and faces her counter as she pours part of the soup into a bowl. She picks up her spoon and heads to the couch. "You have 5 minutes Mulder to explain your extremely good reason."

He follows her and sits on the opposite end of the couch. "I did it for you."

She nearly chokes on the broth. "For me? What do I have to do with your reason for ditching."

"Diana had been getting information of abductees who's cancer had been coming back, even though it was in remission." Scully could have sworn that her heart just fell into her stomach as Mulder continues talking. "She went back to Europe for a week and found out that it was true, when she returned she found an envelope at her door, with this inside." He pulls out a piece of metal from his pocket.

"What is it?" she asks as she puts her bowl down on the coffee table and leans in closer to him to examine the object in her hand.

"Well, technically speaking, it's a piece of a spacecraft."

She looks up at his face and can tell he is dead serious. She rolls her eyes and stands up to put her bowl in the sink. "You have got to be kidding me."

"I'm not, the actual ship in on the coast of Africa."

"So what exactly does this have to do with me and my cancer, Mulder?"

He walks towards her and puts the piece of metal in her hand. "They say that the ships are very powerful, beyond anything that we can imagine, that they have healing powers, Scully."

She scoffs at his words. "So, what you are saying is that by me touching this ship, it's going to heal me?"

"Yes, that is exactly what I am saying."

"Mulder," she pauses as another wave of nausea hits her. She quickly runs to her bathroom and makes it to the toilet just in time. Mulder follows her and crouches down next to her, to pull her hair out of her faces. When she is finally done, he reaches up to the sink and grabs a cloth, wetting it and then placing it on her forehead.

"C'mon," he says, "lets get you to bed, you should probably be resting."

She stands up on shaky legs and makes her way to the bedroom. She climbs into bed as he pulls the covers over her.

"This doesn't really let you off of the hook Mulder. I'm still really hurt and to be honest, I think it was a dumb reason. But, I do appreciate the fact that you were thinking about my health."

He sits down on the side of her bed, "of course I was thinking about your health, Scully, you're all I think about. I don't know what I would do if I lost you. I'm sorry for not letting you know where I was going, I was thinking, I was just too focused on preventing something that might happen to you."

"Stop apologizing, I know you aren't truly sorry, Mulder. I know that if you had to do it again, you would."

He smiles at her and leans down and gives her a gentle kiss to her forehead. "You're right and I am sorry for apologizing. Let me go get you some water and then I will leave so that you can get some rest, okay?"

"Actually, can you stay with me? It's hard taking care of myself and to be honest, I think it's just making things worse."

"Sure, let me just get you that water and I'll be back." He stands up and walks out of the room. Within a couple of minutes he is back and places the cup of water onto her nightstand. He crawls onto the bed from the opposite side and lays down next to her. She rolls over to look at him and gently caresses his face. "I love you. I really do."

"I know, Mulder." He puts his arms around her and she scoots closer to him and buries her head into the crook of his neck. She decides not to tell him about the nose bleeds, she just wants to enjoy the warmth of him for a little bit longer.

********************

She slowly awakes in a cold sweat, feeling her forehead, she already knows that she has a fever again. She gently gets out of bed and makes her way to the bathroom, trying not to wake Mulder as she does. She switches on the bathroom light and walks over to the sink, turning on the cold water, she grabs another wash cloth. She dampens it a little and presses it to her forehead.

She starts to cough as she feels her chest start to tighten. She hunches over the sink and that's when she sees it. The little drops of blood swirling in the water, again. As she looks up, she notices that she has became increasingly pale. She lifts up her hand with the cloth in it, this task seems a lot harder then it normally should. She turns from the counter to walk back to the bedroom to wake him, glad that she asked him to stay. Once she hits the threshold she feels the weakness start to come, she takes one more tentative step and she calls out his name, right as she starts to fall to the ground.

Mulder bolts up right out of bed to the sound of her voice and something hitting the floor. He looks over to her side of the bed and notices that she isn't there. He sees the light on in the bathroom, so he gets up, thinking she might be throwing up again. As he walks around the bed, he sees her on the floor, he rushes down to her side and pulls her towards him. His heart starts to beat rapidly as he sees the blood on the cloth in her hand and on her face.

"Oh God," he says "Scully? Scully, can you hear me?"

When she doesn't respond he checks her breathing and then a pulse. It's faint, but it's still there. He gets onto his knees, still cradling her to his chest and he reaches the nightstand for her cell phone and dials 911.

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**Yeah, who saw that one coming? I know I did…I didn't want to be predictable…but it just kind of happened!! Was that horrible and all over the place? I feel like it was! Anyway, Pheesh Food, I hope you are feeling better!!**

**Don't forget to review!**

**xXx K xXx**


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